Take my Hand, and Show Me Where We're Going

So for Christmas I went to Rochester to see Eric. Who would have known that at the beginning of this semester, I would end up where I am with him? I know I still have so much to figure out in my life but once I do, I know I'll still want him in it. We've both been hurt so much in our lives, but when I'm with him it's like all of the pain from the past disappears. I never knew that to be a possibility, let alone a reality. How can you be sure when something is right? To me, it's the sense of security, the stability, and the trust we have for each other. I've always been weary about trusting others after my experiences growing up. But with Eric, it's different; I know that no matter how far away we may be from each other, I never have to worry about him going off and doing something stupid and hurting me. He offers me something never given to me growing up; a sense of security. Because for that one moment laying in his arms, I know nothing bad can ever happen to me. He makes me feel complete. It's such a weird feeling I have with him but when I look into his hazel eyes with little flakes of gold like mica, I know it's right. Recently I finally overcame everything with Luis. All of it. I realized there's hope out there for me after surviving his abuse. I've begun to draw again, begun to write more regularly, and begun to trust. I know Eric sometimes has his doubts about us, because other people have ruined it for him in the past. I just wish I could find some way to convince him that I would never hurt him; for that's not what I want and not what he needs. I met his family this weekend and went to his church. Church for me is a major thing. Being raised Catholic in a church that was held in Polish, I never knew much about the situation around me. Yes, I'd been to church since childhood; once in Mexico, another a Gospel near a shelter for battered women and children that my mother and I lived in. But since then, I'd not gone. I've considered myself Agnostic because of it. Well I went to his family's church, a Lutheran one, and I loved it. The sense of community and how close the members are to each other is something I envy. I wish I was raised in such a situation, with such an amazing pastor like their's. I'm realizing that now that I'm older, it's time for me to start making my own decisions; to start my own life. This weekend was a big wake up call for me. Hopefully I can finally start putting my life back together and get back on track with everything. I'd like to think that the last year was just a minor detour to what my life is destined to become.

Yes, he may be a goof, but he's my goof and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. <3

"Touch my skin and tell me what you're thinking, take my hand, and show me where we're going
Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling, what you feel now is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
See my eyes, they carry your reflection, watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing"
Dido